Micah Benjamin

It has been a long time coming but I can see the end now. I have a bunch if skits in the bag and even more written. I have the format worked out and I’m ready to go. Just a few more skits to record, a “get to know me” monologue to perfect and an outro.

It’s coming. I swear.

If I could figure out how to get hired as a writer for The Onion, this is a story I would write for them:

Disney Realizes Tron Legacy Marketing Effort Shows Every Single Frame Of Film

BURBANK - Disney’s stock price plummeted today after a message board user going by the name of “M@sterXcunt-trollXProgr@m” discovered that if you watch all the Tron Legacy teasers, trailers, TV commercials, Comi-Con sneak previews, and entertainment show clips in the correct order, the entirety of the film can be seen, for free, before it has even been released in theaters. It took mere moments before word spread to every major news organization, blog, and social media site.

This is a devastating blow to Disney, said Sean Bailey, Disney’s president for production. “It appears someone in the marketing department got lazy, cut the entire movie into various pieces and sent it all out as promo material. There is a special place in hell reserved for people this stupid. If I could give the guy cancer I would.”

Robert Iger, Disney’s CEO was particularly dismayed “This movie was going to blow Avatar out of the water! I had this awesome plan of calling up that smug prick James Cameron and saying ‘How does it feel to get fucked by a mouse?’ It would have been awesome! Instead we aren’t going to make a single fucking cent thanks to a monumental douchebag in the marketing department.”

After putting several of his houses up for sale, Walt Disney Studios President Alan Bergman started talking to the press. “I’ve been informed who was responsible for this huge error in judgement and I plan on personally punching him in the balls before suing him for every cent Disney has ever paid him.”

Jeff Bridges has stated he is pretty bummed out too.

If a pregnant woman eats nothing but barbecue, will the baby be born with a southern accent?

Hi!

Let me introduce myself, I’m Micah Benjamin.

I am a comedy writer and performer. It’s weird for me to say that because I’ve only just decided that’s what I am. I’ve been writing skits and jokes for years, and have performed in the past, but have recently decided I want to take it seriously.

I made this Tumblr because I was too cheap to set up and pay for yet another blog and domain name. This is the place I plan on posting the things I get up to.

I’ll probably go down in flames like most people who consider themselves funny and decide to get serious about it, but I had to give it a shot. Better to fail than to forever wonder “what if.”

So, I plan on putting content here soon. I will do my best to be funny.

There was nothing funny about this post. Bad sign? We’ll see.